Christmas 2016

For the past two Christmases, Jim and I had been in Georgia Atlanta North Mission as senior missionaries.  There were so many blessings in that opportunity.   One was the wonderful display of nativity sets that Lilburn does every year.  It was a terrific way to start Christmas.

A year ago, we shared Christmas with our friend Bala and his family, and some choice missionaries.  Andreia, Kaitlyn and Titan came later. 

The Clear Springs Branch held a Journey to Bethlehem that was terrific.  Many people were taught the true message of the Christmas season.

This shows the weather during the Christmas holiday.  We only saw a few flakes of snow the entire mission. 

 
This year, we are no longer on the mission.  We returned in May and have been able to spend time with family and friends.  This Christmas was much different for us.  We spent some time with our grandchildren.

We were excited to have the family together for Christmas and even attend Church together.  The weather had other plans.  It began snowing on Christmas eve and continued long into Christmas Day. 

Raf and his family tried to come from Logan, but the roads were too treacherous.  So, Andreia, Kaitlyn, Titan, Jim and I braved the weather to get to church.  We almost got stuck in the snow once even with 4-wheel drive.  Attendance was small enough that all of us fit in the chapel.  What a wonderful spirit was there!  I loved it.




We had a lovely dinner on Christmas day, mostly cooked and organized by Andreia.  PE and his family were able to get to the house and we were able to bring Jim's mom.  We opened presents and even made an attempt at a nativity by the children.  That never works well in our family.  Jim and I were surprised with a wonderful gift from Kaitlyn and ME.  They had taken my blogs from the mission and put them into a bound book.  I cried as I reread entries and saw so many pictures of people I love.  How grateful I am for the blessings I have!

Yesterday Raf and his family were able to get here.  Zeke was excited to get presents.  We had a wonderful time with family.

Today, Titan is saying we can't take down the decorations yet.  I guess Christmas will continue for a little while.

Something to hope for

I have found myself really alarmed and saddened in this Presidential race.  This morning is the official election day.  That is why I wanted to post today.  I don't want this post to be viewed as favoring either party.  If I posted tomorrow, the winners would read in the things that they feel support their success.  The losers would read in what they feel justifies their anger over losing.

There is a way that we can all now win. I have close friends and family in both major parties.  These are good people who care about our country and their families.  As such, I hope that we will all join together (the Evan McMullin supporters, the Trump supporters, the Bernie supporters, the Tea Party, and the Hillary supporters) and demand that our Congress and President make dramatic changes to save our country.

If you like these ideas, you need to contact your Congressman or Legislator now.  Most Legislators will be reluctant to take on these issues this close to the session.  Take petitions or otherwise show support so that they know we are serious about these things.

1.  Eliminate the ability to tack unrelated issues onto a bill.  This is a tactic that has been used to bully a sponsor into supporting something they did not agree with, and has been used to kill bills that would have otherwise passed without a fight.  It needs to stop.  If there is good reason for the information they want added, make it stand on its own.

2.  Require that resolutions (like commending someone for their outstanding service) not be taken up until the rest of the business has been completed.   I have seen times in the State legislature that the legislators take up their time with those issues and avoid the important bills.

3.  Require that the legislative and congressional bodies set up a set of rules for prioritizing bills so that those that are necessary because of a court opinion, or emergency measure are handled first.  Budget should be second, then other bills.

3.  Eliminate the ability to filibuster.  I realize that Mr. Smith goes to Washington makes it appear to be a great thing, but it is not.  It wastes precious time.

4.  Eliminate the ability of persons who have previously served in the Congress (or local legislature) from being a lobbyist after leaving office.  Do not extend any special privileges (like the ability to walk onto the floor) to retired members of Congress or the local legislature.

5.  Eliminate paid lobbying.  This one is much harder, but I believe it can (and should) be done.  Public employees are not allowed to accept gifts or luncheons or tickets to basketball games.  Why should it be different for elected officials?

6.  Restrict the amount of money used for training events.  Why do they need fancy tablecloths and dishes?  I saw a lot of waste while I worked in government.

7.  Require a balanced budget amendment in every state and in the federal government.  Will it be painful?  Yes.  But do we owe it to our children's future?  Yes.

8.  Make the funds paid into Social Security exempt from being used for any other purpose.  When Congress raids the funds to pay for other programs, it weakens the fund and leaves in question whether it will be available to future generations.

9.  Require that votes for judicial appointments be voted on within a set period.  Those votes should be taken so that the courts can hear cases.  It is unfair and expensive to those who must wait months because of a backlog.

10.  Appoint a bi-partisan commission at the federal level to eliminate/reduce election costs and the influence of special interests through super-pacs.  The Supreme Court's decision opened the way for the terrible mess we have seen this year.  That needs to be repaired.  Once the recommendations are received, require that the Congress adopt them or veto by a super-majority.

11.  Appoint a bi-partisan commission to overhaul the tax system.  Much was said about having the richer citizens of our country pay more taxes.  Frankly, Donald Trump was the perfect example of why that does not work.  If there are loopholes or ways to shelter money, people will find them.  Personally, I think we need a combined use tax (you are charged a tax for what you use) with a fixed rate tax.  It will take brains far smarter than me to figure out exactly how to make that work.

12.  PAY DOWN THE NATIONAL DEBT!  We are in great danger.  Large sums are debts in the hands of those who are not our friends.  Jim suggested that a bonds program so that American citizens could buy and own the debt might be a way to at least get the debt out of the hands of foreign countries.

Blessed are the peacemakers

God called a special lady home yesterday.  She has been a part of my life since I was a child.  Sandra Garner Grimm was one of God's special souls on earth.  

She married into our crazy family, and still managed to love us.  She had a gentleness and sweetness that made life good when we were around her.  I remember once when my oldest brothers decided to give me a lecture about dating, Sandy was not too happy about it.  I got a phone call from Tom apologizing.  She didn't do things like that very often.  Most of the time she has just been the glue to hold family tight. 

I am so grateful that we were able to get home from our mission before her cancer overtook her.  We had some wonderful conversations.   I somehow felt a lift when I was able to spend time with her. She didn't say much, just let me know I was loved.  

It sounds strange, but I will treasure the blessing of dropping in the night she learned there was nothing more that could be done for her cancer.  It gave us a chance to cry together, a chance to make sure we said the things that were important, a chance to be there for each other.

I am so sad for my brother and for their family.  Sandy is beginning her new assignment for eternity. It is the rest of us who will be left to miss her and wish we could see her one more time.  I hope and pray we will live worthily to see you again.  I love you. Sandy.  

Counsel for our generations

We had a great opportunity today.  Over 200 Stakes gathered to hear from leaders in our Church.  There was some terrific counsel.  A few things especially stuck with me.

One of the speakers spoke about a Book of Mormon scripture in Jacob 5:65.  The phrase he addressed was this "and ye shall not clear away the bad thereof all at once,"  He equated that to opposition.  He indicated that it was instructive that we cannot have all of the opposition eliminated so that we could remain strong.  It makes sense that it is usually the opposition that drives us to our knees.  

Elder Hallstrom reminded us of the growth we have seen in the church.  Elder Ballard then made us laugh when he said that hearing about all of that explained why he (Elder Ballard) was so tired.  I really loved his analogy about the Sequoia trees that were planted at BYU.  They have a life expectancy of hundreds of years, yet one tree died.  The arborist wanted to know why.  When he investigated, he found that some construction that had been done nearby had changed the aquifer and the tree was unable to reach the water.  He compared that to those of us who no longer take advantage of the life-saving gospel.  It made me think!

There are good lawyers

Being a lawyer has put me in an unenviable position.  Lawyers used to be respected and generally were financially well-off.  Lawyers no longer are respected.  I can't argue the point and I even share in the jokes.  My profession deserves it.  There are too many in the profession who put money ahead of doing what is right.  There are too many who have lost the perspective of honesty ahead of winning cases.  They no longer stand in a position to deserve respect.

Fortunately, though, those attorneys do not represent the majority.  And, in most of my career, I had the privilege of working with great lawyers.  Some are very dear to me.  I consider them friends.

One of the good guys is a man named Gary Barr.  Gary was an attorney in the Attorney General's Office when I first became acquainted with him.  By the time I switched to Child Protection, he had become part of a law firm handling the defense end of those cases.  Gary was a good lawyer in skill and in character.  He required that I do my job and wasn't afraid to challenge me.  Even when he did, though, we still remained friends.  He was firm with his clients, very straight with them.  Many of them were not used to that and did not understand how lucky they were to have him as their attorney.  He made it very clear what the expectations and the results would be.

Gary had a great sense of humor.  He used that humor well.

Unfortunately, Gary is no longer with us.  He passed away last month.  He had been fighting cancer for a while.  I was away on our mission when things got bad for him and did not realize it when we returned.  The legal profession will miss Gary.  I know that I do.

Returning to life

Returning from our mission has been difficult.  I liked living where we did not have to mow a lawn or clean the gutters.  It was nice to have someone else responsible for home repairs.  Mostly, it was wonderful to be involved in something so great with such great missionaries and members of the Branch.

We miss them so much!  It helps when we have reunions of the missionaries and the Mullins family brought Thays from Georgia.  I loved those Young Women SOOO much!

 It was great to be able to talk to some of our great returned missionaries.  Okay, I love them too!

It has been awesome to spend time with family members.  We have tried to do a lot of things with our grandchildren.  We have found some fun things to do.

We were able to celebrate P2's second birthday.  She was born shortly after we left on our mission, so we have been working on being acquainted.  It is so fun to watch these little personalities.  When we first arrived, P2 did not want anything to do with us.  P1 didn't remember us, but enjoyed playing with Jim.  He told his parents that he liked "Titan's Grandpa".  We get to spend time with them once a week.

 We went to Kangaroo Zoo.  P2 wasn't too sure about it at first, but by the end she was having fun.  P1 loved following Titan around.  Titan found a friend and had a great time.

We also went to This is the Place Heritage Park.  They have really created something wonderful there.  There are lots of things for children.  They could ride a train, pan for gold, climb on a ship, ride a pony, make a craft and even work with leather.  We spent longer there than we expected because there was a lot to do.  We will be going back when our other little grandchildren arrive from Canada.  

 We have spent time at the cabin and have seen the moose there many times.  We even had a family day there when we did not work on anything.  That is something that we haven't done.  There has always been something to work on when we are there.

We also went to the fair.  Jim built a treehouse for the grandchildren, a rocket out of cardboard, and went fishing with Titan.  We celebrated my mother-in-law's 87th birthday.  Those moments are great ones to be treasured forever.

A country divided July 11, 2016

We just spent 23 months in the great state of Georgia serving a mission for our church.  When we arrived, I admit to being confused as to why the Civil War is still so much a part of the culture.  For a while we lived close to the Stone

Mountain Monument.  It is a HUGE chunk of stone in which there are partially completed carvings of President Jefferson Davis, General Robert E. Lee and General Stonewall Jackson.  They were three of the leaders of the Confederacy.  The accomplishment of those carvings is astounding.  They have a single replica of a buckle from one horse's bridal that is about 5 feet in height.

We also saw the Cyclorama.  It is purportedly the largest painting in the world.  It was recently moved to the Atlanta History Center.  It is a painting in the round.  It depicts many of the leaders and battles in the Civil War.

I learned a lot while living in Georgia.  I learned where the kind of commitment to that monument and painting could come from.  It comes from pain.


The Civil War was a terrible time for our nation.  It was a time when families were torn apart.  It was a time of destruction of lives.  It was a time of great loss.  We went to the Atlanta History Center where they have people who portray the stories of those who were in the war.  The difficult decisions regarding alliances, bravery, and loss were very moving.  Families could tell of family members whose lives were lost in the conflict.

I have been especially heart-broken about the senselessness of it all.  Slavery is an evil practice and should never have been condoned.  Unfortunately, it was not those who began the practice who paid the cost.  It was many people of all colors who paid.  All men and women are created equal and endowed with inalienable rights.  It is strange, though, that even when those words were written, the people did not have a commitment to them.

When we arrived in Atlanta, Jim asked a lady about where we might go to see some of the old buildings.  She said that there weren't any because "the Yankees burned them all".  It is true.  Atlanta was burned.  Some sections were leveled as the Confederate troops were leaving the area, and the rest was destroyed by the Northern troops.

So now, I see our country being torn apart again.  People should not be judged or defined by the color of their skin.  ALL LIVES MATTER.  We should treat all people with respect and love.  When any person is wrongfully treated, profiled or worse still, murdered, because of their race or religion, we should all join hands.  We should fight injustice.

But to kill innocent police officers who were trying to protect those people who were asserting their free speech, is beyond evil.  They were profiled for the color of their skin.  They were killed for no sane reason.

I would ask that those who are seeking justice and fairness remember them.  We must fight evil of all kinds together.  We cannot let our country be torn apart.  We cannot let differences destroy our unity.

The interesting thing to me about the Civil War?  Other countries were able to eliminate slavery in their lands without civil war.

We need to listen to the words of Martin Luther King Jr.  and share a dream.

Memories of Wilson

My parents and older siblings moved to Utah from Iowa before I was born.  We did not belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but I felt well accepted.  I wasn't raised in any church, but my parents taught me to have a strong moral compass.  It is unusual, I know, that the 4th of July celebrations would make me think of that.

Actually, I posted a video on facebook of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic.  The version that they sing is my favorite.  I was blessed in my years growing up to have a neighbor named Ray Myers.  Ray was an amazing talent.  He was called to put together a youth choir to travel to different wards and sing patriotic music.  He wrote a stirring program and introduced this version of the Battle Hymn to me.

Ray will always be special in my life.  He always got more out of me than I realized I had in me.  He told me I was needed.  He encouraged me to stretch.  He challenged my fears and encouraged my interests.  Even though I was not a member of the LDS Church, he had me narrate the sacrament meeting program.  He had me perform as one of the main characters in our roadshow.  He encouraged me to become active in student government at Weber State.  He was there as an advisor and with his vision, we did some wonderful things.  Those things undoubtedly helped me be able to go to law school, work for over 30 years for the State as an attorney and ultimately retire and serve a mission.

So, today, in addition to being thankful for my family, my faith and my freedoms in this land, I am thankful for Ray.

A week of celebrations

One of the great things about being back is being able to participate in celebrations with people we love.  On Friday, we were able to attend the wedding reception for Trevor Ross and his new wife.  What a darling couple!  As a bonus, we were able to see Logan Jex and his wife and Carson Cleverly and Jeff Barnett.  I stole this picture from them.






We were able to celebrate P2's birthday with her for the first time.  We were able to spend some time with P1 and P2 while their parents were at the Temple.  We started out with a pirate lunch of octopus (pieces of hotdog with spaghetti noodles in them then boiled), goldfish, plank (celery sticks), and fish from the island.  We watched some of their favorite shows about pirates.  It was lots of fun.

Then we had cake at PE and ME's house.  P2 had fun with her presents.

We rushed off to another wedding, this time for a great young man from our ward.

On Sunday, we were happy to be able to attend Kurt Cottle's homecoming and spent time with him and Jennifer Martinez.

We wished we could have attended everyone's but, unfortunately, they all decided to be held at once in different places!  We really love these former missionaries.

Angels among us

I have been deeply saddened by news I heard this week about choices people I care about have made.   My heart is broken for them.  I fear for their happiness.  We live in a world steeped in cynicism and worldliness.  Temptations of every kind surround us.  I don't understand the draw to that world.  I have seen the terrible toll that results.  I have seen broken lives where people live without hope, without faith, without a belief in anything good.  I have seen lives governed by money and power. 

In contrast, I have also seen people whose lives are governed by faith, trust in God, love, and charity.  They do not have lives that are without trials, they do not have the appearance (in most cases) of actual angels to buoy them up.  Many have been burdened with sorrow, loss, and trial.  But they know joy.  They do not live for themselves, they do not wallow in pain.  They look forward to the Savior.  He can heal and they accept his healing.

I wish I could heal everyone.  I wish I could touch their hearts and hand them the peace that comes from the atonement.  But I cannot.  It is a gift that must be accepted.  It is freely offered, but cannot be forced upon others.  Christ already suffered for our sorrows, our pains, our mistakes.  Why do we insist on continuing to suffer?

It is so easy to doubt.  The world teaches us to doubt.  We have seen so many people who have deceived, so many people who have been deceived.  We have been taught to only trust things we can know with our senses.  There is a problem with that.  There are things we cannot know with our senses.  We cannot know gravity except by seeing how it affects objects.  None of our senses are able to detect gravity.  The same is true with God.  We cannot detect him through logic or our senses.  We can only know him through his actions.

So, to all who are sorrowing over a loved one, take heart.  Leave it in the hands of one who is divine.  Let him assign it to the angels around us.

A grand celebration June 21, 2016

Father's Day is a wonderful day, but was made more wonderful with the news that Earline, our sweet investigator, was baptized.  Erline is a wonderful Christian, a scholar of the Bible, and a seeker of truth.  She is such an example to me.  She had to overcome tremendous fears of falling and being immersed in water in order to be baptized.  Her fears were as serious as anyone I have ever known.  With the help of the wonderful people in the Clear Springs Branch, she was able to be baptized.  I am so happy for her.

She doesn't speak Portuguese, but she will never let that hold her back.  Congratulations, my friend!  May you grow every day in joy and knowledge.

Happy late Father's Day! June 21, 2016

My computer and I have had issues the past few days.  As a result, I missed the opportunity to pay tribute to the wonderful fathers in my life.  We cannot emphasize enough the value of good parents in the life of a child.  Good fathers help their children to learn about love, trust, and being safe.  Good fathers teach the values of work, honesty and living a life of honor.

Of course, fathers cannot do it alone.  I am always impressed with the example of parenting that we find with the Anti-Nephi-Lehies in the Book of Mormon.  Those parents valued honor.  They believed in living the commitments they made.  They were willing to sacrifice.  They taught their children that they (the stripling warriors) were strong enough to defend their freedoms.

I had parents who lived lives of honor.  They valued honesty.  They believed in commitment.  They did not protect us from consequences, but actually made certain that we received consequences when deserved.  They loved other people and were kind to them.  They believed that we had to earn our way in life.  They worked together for us.  They were a team, and taught us to be a team with our spouses.
We had an enjoyable evening on Sunday with Kaitlyn, Drei and two of Kaitlyn's friends.  Kaitlyn asked Jim to share some of the stories he had told them when they were children.  He did some funny things as a child and youth (and even as a young adult).  I laughed again at stories he has told.  They never grow old.

We went to the Church History Museum with Titan on Thursday.  It is really wonderful.  I took a few pictures to share.  I took this one of a table with 12 glasses of water and a red drape around the only chair.  For me, it was very interesting and powerful.

I liked this one of a soldier at the cross.

This was a beautiful picture depicting the atonement.  

This was a beautiful picture of Mary at the tomb.

This is a depiction of the story of the widow's mite by our own Erin Wall Meads.  

They also have a delightful children's area.  Children could play in this ark.

This is a kinetic sculpture made of wood.  It depicts the life of Jesus as steel marbles run down the track.  The artist's name is Karl Hale.

It is well worth a trip to see these beautiful pieces of art.

Afterwards. we went to the airport to welcome some of the missionaries home from our mission.  It was so great to see them.  Unfortunately, we only got a few pictures.  But I can tell you, there was a great celebration by the families that day!

And, then on Sunday, we were able to attend the report for Sister Barben.  What a privilege to have known such great missionaries in the mission.  I wish we could make it to all of the reports, but I hope that each missionary knows they are loved just as much, whether we make it or not!

Now it seems real June 13, 2016

Yesterday was an incredible day.  We have been home for a month and finally spoke in church about our mission.  When we came in and saw so many people who mean so much in our lives, it was very touching.  I have said before that it must be like heaven.  I think that is true.  We had old friends, new friends, ward friends, family and our sweet GANM missionaries.   I did miss my wonderful Brazilian friends, though.

As always, Jim drew in the spirit in his talk.  He has such an ability to do that.  He doesn't believe that he speaks well, and he talks about the number of hours it takes for him to prepare a talk.  When he speaks, though, he is more in tune than I.  He is just like that.

Bishop Thompson referred to the letter that President and Sister Bennion had sent to him.  It was very kind of them to say they hope we serve another mission and that they hope it is at the GANM.

 After Sacrament meeting, we came back to the house for food.  My girls and Jim helped and we did our best to try to create some Brazilian foods.  We had hot dogs with the toppings that our Branch would have served, chicken salad sandwiches, pao de queijo, some American salads, Brigadeiro and Beijinho with some luscious cookies others brought.



I did my best to capture the wonderful things I learned in the Clear Springs Branch about holding a celebration.  They do it much better, though.

For Sister Bennion, I bought Haribou peach candies and put them in little bags with a Georgia Peach sticker.  The missionaries liked the reminder of her touch.

We were able to talk to many of our friends and family.  Some were missing, so we have a LOT of catching up to do!

Our plaque is off the wall at the Church, our report is completed.  Now it feels final that we are no longer full-time missionaries.

Victory over darkness June 13, 2016

Today my heart is heavy as I think of the terrible tragedy in Orlando.  How I wish I could reach out to the families of those who were injured or died.   How I wish I could give them hope of a brighter tomorrow.  To all whose lives have been impacted, I want to assure you that God loves you.  Jesus Christ atoned for the suffering you now bear.  He is at your side.  He will bear you up.

God loves us enough to let us experience suffering that we might grow.  Kahlil Gibran said something about the deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Some may become swallowed up in the bitterness and anger because of the hateful act that took place.  We cannot let bitterness become an answer.  When we do, Satan has succeeded.

Satan has existed since the beginning of time and continues to seek the destruction of the divine creations of our Father in Heaven.  He seeks to sow violence, hate, and suffering.  He only prevails if we allow those actions to make us weakened in faith, weakened in hope and weakened in joy.

I will never understand the mind that can judge another and decide that their life does not have value. I don't understand how people who believe in a just God, a God who has commanded that we obey his commandments, could interpret his teachings to mean that we have any right to judge his creations and determine whether they have the right to live.  God has reserved the right to judge others as unworthy to live.

The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us to love one another as he has loved us.  We have a long way to go to do as he has required.

I'm back! June 5, 2016

Had a few technological challenges in the weeks since our return, so I haven't been blogging.  I have wrestled within myself as to whether it makes sense to continue blogging.  I don't know that I will have anything of worth to share.  But what I do know is that we have been asked to have a presence on the internet, to counteract the false information that flows abundantly out there.  So, I am back.

Returning from a mission is a little rough.  Sort of like reentry from space orbit.  I have found that sometimes I am hanging on tightly to those lessons I learned.  Things don't always go smoothly.  Sometimes the mission seemed like a simpler life.  I read a post from one our missionaries in which he talked of being homesick and wanting to go back to Georgia.  I understand.  Georgia is very close to my heart.

For example, in the mission, we didn't have a yard to care for.  Here we do.  One of the first things we did was put in a new line to water in two beds that used to be hand-watered and plant flowers. 

 One of the beds Kaitlyn calls the Tim Burton bed because it has black petunias and some other interesting flowers.

Probably one of the things we disliked about the mission was moving apartments.  We did a LOT of that while we were there.  So, when we returned home, we have found ourselves unpacking boxes we had packed before we left.  Oh, my, I guess you never get away from it1

One thing we will never miss is Waffle House.  Waffle House was a staple for many of the missionaries and our good friend, Barry Jessen, ate there every week.  We never acquired the taste.  However, PE and ME introduced us to a place here in Utah called Waffle Love.  It started as a food truck and now has a location in West Bountiful.  We liked it .

We have also returned to using our barbecue, grilling, they would call it in Georgia.  We missed that in Georgia.  In most of the apartment complexes grilling is not allowed except in designated areas.  

Some things are not the same.  Some buildings have been razed.  Some roads have changed (what is with the weird intersections off the freeway).  Spaghetti Factory must have changed chefs because the food was not the same.  Now there is an "At Home" instead of a Shopko.  Mom Dixon is now living in Barton Creek where my Mom once lived.  Barry and Jana did some awesome work at the cabin and so it is almost complete.

Mostly what has changed is our family and friends.  Cancer has been brutal to some of our loved-ones and neighbors.  With Titan, it has been easy to reestablish the relationship.

With P1 and P2, it has been harder.  P1 was about 2 when we left and so (after a great session of playing with Grandpa) he said "I like Titan's Grandpa".  Ilana is still not quite sure what to think.  And our little Canadians really don't have any idea who we are.



Knowing all of that, I would still go on a mission.  It was a blessing in our lives and the  lives of our children.  We didn't see them as particularly being blessed while we were gone, but they appear to have been protected from the fiery darts of the adversary.  Since we came home, they have all had car trouble.  My guess is that they soon will be begging us to go again!

The hightlight of the week was Titan's graduation from kindergarten.  Way to go, little buddy!